A Diamond Mouser kitten seated in a shaft of morning sun

Some diamonds purr.

Out of Diamond City, Alberta: four kittens of storied line and immaculate manners, now accepting petitions for placement. Homecoming falls on the 29th of July. Four will be placed. There is no fifth.

Plate 0 · A Mouser considers the morning

I · The Legend

Every great house
begins with a story.

Ours begins in Diamond City, and no, we did not invent it. It sits in the short-grass country just north of Lethbridge, Alberta: a town that took its name from the diamonds it hauled out of the dark. Black ones. The miners’ kind. The kind that heated half a province. Where there is coal there are stores, where there are stores there are mice, and where there are mice, if a town is very lucky, there are cats equal to the assignment.

The cats of Diamond City did not ask for wages. They asked for a windowsill facing east and the dignity of an unbothered evening. In exchange, so the story goes, they kept the granaries spotless and the ledgers honest, and the merchants, who trusted nothing they could not bite, trusted them completely. A mouser of that country was said to hear a whisker’s worth of trouble through a foot of oak.

“You can dig a diamond out of the ground. The better ones walk up and sit on you.”

Whether every word survives the retelling, no one alive will swear. Stories are like that. But temperament survives. Manners survive. The white gloves survive. The four kittens on this page were raised under our roof in that same country: underfoot and unhurried, handled daily, spoken to constantly, introduced to the vacuum cleaner as an equal.

We call them Diamond Mousers. Spend a minute with the four of them below, and you will call them that too.

“Diamond Mouser” is the private designation of our house: a mark of upbringing, temperament and provenance, not a breed registry. The legend is told the way all good prairie stories are told. Diamond City, Alberta, however, is entirely real, and so are the kittens.

II · The Standard

Raised the hard way,
which is to say, properly.

A Diamond Mouser is not found. It is made: slowly, underfoot, one deliberate week at a time.

I

Raised Underfoot

Born in a bedroom, not a barn. Handled every day since their eyes opened, and carried through the household like small heirs surveying the estate. Doorbells, dishwashers, dinner guests: acquaintances, all. Litter habits, immaculate. Opinions, forming.

II

The Veterinary Course

Before homecoming, each kitten completes a full first course of care: examination, age-appropriate first vaccinations, and deworming, all recorded in a travelling health record that leaves with the kitten. We would no sooner send one off unpapered than unnamed.

III

The Temperament Trials

Each candidate is assessed in the disciplines of the house: sunbeam appreciation, plush-quarry pursuit, lap endurance, guest reception. Scores are sealed in the family record. All four passed with distinction. One of them, frankly, is showing off.

III · The Four

Litter № VII.
Four stones, four cuts.

Same line, same standard, four entirely different opinions about how a household ought to be run. Read carefully. The petition will ask whom you favor, and the house notices when someone chooses for the wrong reasons.

Placed Blaze, a bold-banded tabby kitten mid-stride, tail high, advancing at speed Plate I · Blaze, mid-arrival
Accepting petitions

Ignatius Rough-Cut,
First Spark of the Seam

called “Blaze” · he

The FirecrackerSlate-blue eyesBold-banded tabby, white boots

Blaze does not walk anywhere; he arrives. First out of the basket since his eyes opened, he plays the way prairie storms roll in: suddenly, gloriously, and with total commitment. Toys are apprehended mid-air. Hallways are crossed at speeds the house declines to publish. And when the engine finally cools each night, it cools on the warmest available human.

  • TemperamentGleeful mayhem, expertly timed.
  • Toy-mouse recordCaught it before it landed. Twice.
  • Best suited toA household that enjoys a show.
Petition for Blaze
Placed Bear, a generously built classic tabby kitten resting with white paws crossed over a cushion’s edge Plate II · The Baron, at rest (his preferred state)
Accepting petitions

Balthazar Karat,
Baron of the Deep Cushion

called “Bear” · he

The BaronSlate-blue eyesClassic tabby, white cravat & cuffs

Bear does nothing quickly and nothing halfway. Built along generous lines and entirely at peace with it, he moves through the day like furniture that has learned to purr: sunbeam to cushion to lap, each stop given its full due. He is not lazy, he would insist; he is efficient. Why chase the toy now, when it will still be there after the nap?

  • TemperamentUnhurried. Immovable once settled.
  • Toy-mouse recordWatched it roll past with sincere interest.
  • Best suited toA household with excellent seating.
Petition for Bear
Placed Duke, a marble tabby kitten with white gloves, seated squarely, meeting the camera with a level look Plate III · Duke receives the morning
Accepting petitions

Reginald Brilliant-Cut,
Keeper of the Front Hall

called “Duke” · he

The GreeterSlate-blue eyesMarble tabby, white gloves & jabot

Duke is the diplomat of the four: quick on his feet, generous with his welcomes, and privately certain that every arrival at the door has come to see him. He is usually right. Fast enough to win the morning chase, sociable enough to end it early for company, he is the kitten for a household that likes its charm punctual and its greetings in person.

  • TemperamentFriendly first, fast second, both convincingly.
  • Toy-mouse recordClean catch on the second bounce.
  • Best suited toA household with guests worth greeting.
Petition for Duke
Placed Onyx, a soft-shaded tabby kitten seated in profile, watching the window with intent Plate IV · Onyx, between patrols
Accepting petitions

Percival Black-Facet,
the Night Patrol

called “Onyx” · he

The WildcardSlate-blue eyesSoft-shaded tabby, white bib

Onyx keeps perfectly sensible hours, right up until he does not. By day he is composed and observant, a model citizen of the windowsill. Then the evening patrol begins: a thundering circuit of the household, executed with immense seriousness, after which he returns to your side as though nothing happened at all. Every good house needs one member with a touch of theatre. He has volunteered.

  • TemperamentComposed, with scheduled exceptions.
  • Toy-mouse recordErratic pursuit line. Flawless result.
  • Best suited toA household that appreciates a little theatre.
Petition for Onyx

IV · The Archive

Plates from the
house record.

A Diamond Mouser kitten walking the east corridor on hardwood, white paws forward
Plate V · Morning patrol, east corridor
A kitten sitting upright on cream linen for a formal portrait
Plate VI · Sitting for the house portrait
A kitten advancing directly toward the camera, low angle, tail raised
Plate VII · Blaze, inbound
A kitten with head tilted, considering the viewer
Plate VIII · The head-tilt that closed three negotiations
A kitten resting with paws crossed at the edge of a cushion, audience concluded
Plate IX · Audience concluded

V · The Dowry

No Mouser leaves
empty-pawed.

Each placement departs Diamond City with the full dowry of the house, prepared, papered, and packed before you arrive.

The Certificate of Provenance, framed and hand-numbered
№ 01

The Certificate of Provenance

Hand-numbered, one of four and never more, signed by the house. It records the official name, the litter, and the line. Frame it. They would.

The first veterinary course and health record
№ 02

The First Veterinary Course

Examination, age-appropriate first vaccinations, and deworming, all completed before homecoming. The travelling health record continues at your own clinic.

A bespoke fitted collar
№ 03

A Bespoke Collar

Velvet, fitted, the buckle engraved with the call name. The first of many in a long life, but the only one they will be carried home in.

The named bed, handwoven and personalized
№ 04

The Named Throne

A handwoven bed bearing their name, with room to grow into. The rest of your furniture is shared territory. This is sovereign ground, and every Mouser knows it on sight.

The Diamond Standard dossier in print
№ 05

The Diamond Standard, in Print

A dossier of the house: rations and routines, likes and grievances, the socialization diary, and the legend in full, so the story travels with them.

VI · The Placement Fee

$1,450

per placement · four exist · none are discounted

We are aware you can acquire a kitten for the price of a pizza. We have met those kittens; some of our dearest friends are those kittens. But you are not shopping for a kitten. You are petitioning for twelve deliberate weeks of raising, a veterinary course already completed, a temperament vouched for in writing, and a small companion whose first instinct in a thunderstorm is to sit closer to you. The fee is not for the cat. The fee is for everything the cat will never have to unlearn.

A deposit is requested only upon acceptance · Unsuccessful petitions owe nothing

Homecoming

The 29th of July draws near.

4 of four placements remain. When they are gone, this page comes down.

Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds

VII · The Petition

State your case.

A Diamond Mouser is placed, never sold to the first hand raised. The form is long on purpose. Consider it the first temperament trial: yours.

IThe Petitioner

Who comes before the house?

IIThe Household

Describe the estate, however humble. Mousers have been happy in one-room kingdoms; it is the governance that matters.

IIIThe Affinity

Five questions. Answer them plainly, and the house will suggest which of the four is most likely to approve of you.

1 · Your ideal day off, honestly.

2 · In any gathering, you are:

3 · A red dot appears on your wall.

4 · Your home, in a phrase.

5 · Choose a stone.

The house suggests

A suggestion, not a decree. Final pairings rest with the house.

IVThe Intention

Now, the heart of the matter.

VThe Pledges

Read slowly. Tick sincerely. All four are required.

Submission opens your mail application with the completed petition. Press send to finish.

VIII · Questions, Asked Politely

Before you petition.

Why $1,450?

Because the alternative is a kitten someone was eager to be rid of. The fee carries the first veterinary course, the dowry in full, and twelve weeks of deliberate raising, the kind of socialization you cannot retrofit at any price. We did not price them to move; we priced them to matter. What you are buying, in the end, is a start you never have to repair.

Are Diamond Mousers a registered breed?

No, and we would squint at anyone selling you a “registered” barn aristocrat. Diamond Mouser is the designation of our house: shorthairs of impeccable domestic line, raised in Diamond City to a written standard. The pedigree here is the raising, the record, and the temperament, all of which leave with the kitten, in writing.

May we meet them before deciding?

Accepted petitioners are invited to a viewing at the house, a private residence in Diamond City near Lethbridge, by appointment. The kittens receive visitors between naps. The naps are non-negotiable.

We are nowhere near Lethbridge. Are we out of luck?

Not remotely. Should interest warrant it, we will arrange a delivery day to Calgary; note your interest in the petition and you will be counted. Farther afield (Vancouver, Edmonton, Ontario and beyond) transport can be organized at cost, with every provision made for a calm and dignified journey. A Diamond Mouser has never once arrived flustered.

What if my petition is declined?

Politely, promptly, and with our thanks. It is nearly always a matter of timing or fit, never of worth. Four placements is a cruel arithmetic. We did not invent scarcity; we merely respect it.

When do they come home?

On or after the 29th of July, Homecoming Day. Each departs with the full dowry, the travelling health record, and the good wishes of the entire house. Photographs of them thriving are always welcome, though never demanded.

Four kittens. Four households. One brief window.

Begin the Petition

The petition is prepared.

Your mail application has opened with the completed petition addressed to the house. Press send to finish. Petitions are reviewed within forty-eight hours, in the order received.